7/25/2023 0 Comments Anaconda 3 snake![]() ![]() ![]() Stay tuned!Īfter a few seconds of this, we're introduced to Mr. It's a good representation of the film: a little bit of superficial science, and a little bit of running around the woods. Which should give you some idea of what kind of movie you're in for.Īs the opening credits roll, we're treated to some shots of scientific stuff happening, along with footage of a woman exercising in a forest. In all fairness, though, it's the best half. You see, when I said that Hasselhoff "stars" in this movie, what I really meant was that he's in a little over half the movie. The only real reason the scene exists is to show you a couple minutes of Hammett before he disappears. None of what just happened plays any part in the rest of the movie. What was the point of that? Who are these people, and why were they shooting at a giant anaconda? The answer to these questions is simple: we don't know. Hammett taunts him, then wanders off, leaving Peter to gawk at the freshly-slain anaconda.Īstonished by the sheer size of the beast, Peter can only remark, "God help us all." And. He awakes sometime later to find that the rest of the group, except for Hasselhoff's character, Hammett, are gone. This goes on for a little while, and then Peter runs into a tree and passes out. He stumbles around, and the rest of the group starts frantically shooting at the snake. This kind of confuses Peter, but doesn't do much else. The first thing it does is vomit blood into Peter's face. They stumble around until a giant anaconda attacks them. That's about all you need to know about this scene. Hasselhoff is there, and so is a guy named "Peter". We begin with a shot of a mercenary group stalking their way through a deciduous forest that the director would have us believe is a jungle. They want you to know that one way or another, you're going to enjoy Anaconda 3, a movie about David Hasselhoff hunting giant snakes in Romania. You say there's no real tension in the movie? Hey, look, it's that guy from Baywatch! You say the characters are braindead losers, and our CGI snakes look awful? Hey, remember when he was eating that cheeseburger? Hilarious." Hiring The Hoff worked because it sent a message to the film-going public: "Yes, we're making a horror movie, but we don't care how scary it is, and neither should you. It was a risky move, so the producers decided to bring in a low-end star: David Hasselhoff. Another sequel was on the horizon, and this time, the producers decided to save even more money by shooting yet another sequel back-to-back with the third film. Unfortunately, the inherent crappiness of the film limited the level of star power the project could draw, from A-list down to "who?"Įven so, the sequel, which involved more anacondas and a bunch of rare flowers that could grant immortality, made money. It was a pretty lousy movie, but it made a lot of money, so there was plenty of demand for a sequel. It was a movie about a giant snake, and the producers were able to bring in a handful of A-list actors to sell the whole thing. You may remember a movie from a few years back called Anaconda.
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